One of the biggest things I've learned in the past two years it that I am not always right. And those words still make my stomach churn as I type them. As a planner, an organizer, a perfectionist, a leader, and a rule follower.... I like to be right. What I HAVE learned over the past two years is that letting go has been the best thing I ever did for my family and myself. And the first thing I let go of was society's views on "how to raise your kids to be successful."
Homeschooling has been something I wanted to write about for awhile. I get a lot of comments and questions about our choices to do things the way we do as a family. So I'm going to unpack this one thing at a time. I love and appreciate ALL educators. I mean, I was a public educator for almost 20 years. I respect and love them for all they do. This isn't a debate on which is better. Only a little information on what worked BEST for OUR family.
Why did we decide to homeschool?As a parent, you know your kids more than ANYONE. Or, at least you should. When our life crumbled, I discovered I didn't know my kids as well as I thought. And they were struggling with their identities and what they were being asked to do.
The American education system is really a "one size fits all" in a lot of ways. They are bound by laws and policies that certain classes have to be taken, minutes to be met in certain areas, and other things added in. What if that path isn't for all kids? What if they can complete tasks faster or if they struggle in a certain area? It's hard to keep up with 25+ kids in one classroom, but here... I have two. I saw my kids needs and decided... it's time to address them how I'm being called by God to lead them.
Brad's Story- We wanted a different path for our kids and to have the have a voice in their educational paths. Brad was first to make the switch. Why? He is bright, gets bored easily, loves to work with his hands and create, and some of the sections of classes he would finish early and then get in trouble because he didn't have anything to do. At the elementary level, we knew this was the best time to switch him to homeschool and see how it went. What did we learn? Brad is EXCEPTIONAL at math, engineering things to work, can memorize things by reading things minimal times, has perfect pitch, and he has the biggest heart to help others. We learned Brad is great in music AND in athletics and that he struggled to be proud of this gift. We also know Brad struggled with anger and anxiety. We learned that by not pushing him and giving him breaks for physical activity, he actually started to want to sit and write more, read longer books, and loved to share what he was learning. When we didn't push him to practice his music lessons, he started using his breaks to find online tutorials to learn to play things by ear and memorize to show us at night. We saw Brad embrace who he really was and the gifts God gave him. We saw Brad become comfortable in his own skin. In his second year, he chose to begin learning Greek language and is doing amazing at being ahead in his lessons online because of his gift of memorization. His favorite part of this year is that he's done by noon and can fish for a few hours after lunch with his cast nets before football practice. The best part is that we see less anger outbursts and hear more apologies when he knows he has crossed the line in his impatience. His relationship with me is COMPLETLY different than a year ago. And it's so fun to see him happy and thriving.
As a junior this year, we offered Mia the opportunity in the spring to finish high school with duel enrollment the next academic year. In May it was a clear...NO. Fast forward to July and Mia is asking us how this all works. We figured out a plan, met with the school, met with the college, and are already homeschooling core classes at home. Will she graduate on time? Yup. And probably with her associates degree. Will she still be able to do all the music stuff she loves? Yup. This will actually allow her freedom in her schedule to work more with her private instructor. The best part: this will all actually work on her life skills of planning, organizing her schedule, time management, and communication with adults she works with, and understanding she is the only person accountable for her success. It's her created path SHE chose. She has the ownership. It also allows her time to learn more about the field of early childhood because she can still babysit, visit places during her day hours, and STILL work on her online classes at different times. That's the beauty of her schedule this semester. And she loves not having to get up at 6 AM!
QUESTIONS I GET ALL THE TIME!
1. What about socialization? Won't your kids not fit in with society?
Ah, yes. My favorite topic and biggest eye roll. Don't worry, my kids are VERY socialized. We do field trips, have jobs, participate in band and choir, sports, volunteering, mission work, church, and I make them schedule their own appointments for things. They are socialized just fine. And honestly, I'm okay that some of the socialization in school they miss.....And my 6th grader doesn't have a smart phone and doesn't even know where his flip phone is currently. LOL.
2. Are you sad your kids won't walk across a HS graduation stage? Um, I don't even remember much about my graduation day. And it definitely didn't make or break my life. I don't want my kids to walk a stage for 30 seconds to make MY heart happy; their life long happiness and success is more important than that picture in a cap and gown. All paths lead to adulthood and I'm excited to see the paths they take on the way there as we build this foundation based on their interests and where God is leading them. Plus, worst care scenario, I'll buy one and they can walk across the gravel road to get their diploma from me. Bring lawn chairs because it's going to be a lit time. :)
3. How do you not lose your mind? I could never homeschool my kids!
Yes you can! And yes, you will lose your mind some days. Those days we take a walk for PE or I do an extra cup of coffee on the deck before starting the next task. You are teaching your kids grace and patience. You pray a little more those days. God gives us grace so its a good reminder to show grace that same to our children. There are so many different types of homeschool parents out there. No one is perfect. That's the beauty of it! You are teaching your kids through your own journey that life isn't perfect and a growth mind-set is so important for success. And also that sometimes there is failure and you can learn and grow from that as well.
4. What are your favorite things about homeschooling?
My favorite things about homeschooling is that they are here at home and we do life together. You only get 18 years with your kids. And even on the crazy busy days of driving my kids between activities 20 miles away from each other, I savor my morning coffee and time with them when we start our days together with worship music and frozen pancakes. I'm thankful for the daily time with Grandma and all the fun things we can do with her. We will be starting to help more with canning in the coming weeks as the garden season ends.
Field trips are always fun! And we love the other families we meet around the tri-states that also homeschool. There's a lot of us! And what better thing to do than to take school on the road!
Sometimes the kids have to travel on the not so fun trips to get oil changes and tires rotated, too. But there's always tea and coffee on those trips.
5. Do you teach religion? How do you handle the creation/evolution sides of science?
We are creationist believers. Yup, those people. We are foundational in Genesis. We know our views don't match everyone and that's okay. We do teach a creationist view of science to our children but they also have an understanding and knowledge of evolution and other views in science. Someday they will be adults and will make their own decisions about where they stand on this topic. Right now, we are learners of both. We also study the bible and do scripture lessons every day. We teach our kids about respecting and loving all humankind.
Our kids have met with missionaries, they support two kids in third world countries monthly with their allowances and help from us, and enjoy serving others. We are a "Christ's Love In Action" kind of family We challenge our kids to "be the good in the world."
One of the best things about homeschooling has been watching our kids grow in their own faith. We may teach the history of our faith, but having a relationship with Jesus is an individual thing for anyone. We cannot make our kids follow Christ. It has been truly amazing listening to our kids talk about their faith and how they see Christ working in their lives. Their individual stories and testimonies are their own to share someday. It has been completely amazing to see how God is calling them both differently and as a Mom, stepping out of the way for that call is hard sometimes. One talks of doing missions in Africa and preaching the word. One talks of working with small children and doing foster/adoption later in life. Both follow the call of caring for the "least of these." Is it where I want them... maybe not. But God's plans are definitely bigger and better than my thoughts.
6. Do you have any regrets?
Yes. I wish we would have had the opportunity to do this sooner. But, I'm a firm believer that God's timing is better than anything I could have ever imagined. So, I will be thankful for the years I have left with my kids doing this. Between singing videos in the living room, driving between two separate towns for their events, color coding calendars so we all know what is going on, working nights and weekends to make this work, and living on prayer, coffee, and Jesus.....I'm thankful and blessed. Someday they will be grown and gone and my house will be clean, organized, and not covered with homeschool worksheets, random chewed pencils, laundry, and dirty dishes. Their desk areas will be gone, but in my heart, I will always have the memories of my kids being with me 24/7 and educating them in life, love, family, and Jesus. Totally worth it.
Life is short. I'm going to pour all I can into raising the next generation of humankind that I can during my days on this earth. "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16.
I'm lighting lights. I'm trimming the wicks and filling the vessel with as much knowledge, love, and compassion that I can. When these lamps are ready, I hope they shine brightly for the Kingdom.
3. How do you not lose your mind? I could never homeschool my kids!
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